Dealing with Shame
You can get over this, but you have to deal with the shame. Shame is
different than guilt. Guilt says, "how could I have done
this?" Shame says "how could I have done this?" The
emphasis is on being rather than behavior. Shame makes us feel small,
worthless, and so flawed that we will be rejected. Shame we usually
feel in our gut while guilt we feel in our heads. We feel guilt when
we break one of our standards. Guilt is really handle-able.
Shame makes us wonder, "what will people think of me.
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Why we don't track our Numbers
Keeping things vague helps us avoid reality. Keep good records and
accountability helps us see clearly. Keeping things vague is like
denial to the alcoholic or and other addict. They really don't keep an
accounting of how bad it has become. The food addict that doesn't want
to no how much food, or calories they are eating and how much weight they
have. This is like the compulsive debtor who want to keep on spending,
doesn't know how much she is spending and doesn't want to know the total
debt. One of the beginning steps is knowing how much debt you owe and
to track ever expenditure. to be continued-
Taking the First Steps
What do we do to start the recovery process?
1. Explore the
disease through literature and meetings.
2. Get professional
counseling or coaching.
3. Get a sponsor to guide you through the
4. Start to track your numbers.
5. Explore your
emotional connections with money. What does money equal to you?
Power? Security? Self-worth? to be continued